9/18/10

i feel like all the progress i made in terms of independence this summer is going away.
sometimes i hate college for throwing you into a place with only people your age for 3/4 out of the year.
i miss home. i miss everyone from home.
i do love school but something is missing lately- maybe it's not living near everyone, or feeling they have their own lives going on now and i need to have my own too.
from now on i won't be who i was last year. i have to do this on my own.

7/27/10

i feel:
lonely
empty
frustrated
unmovtivated
sad

definitely in quite the summer slump.
i'm losing the very few people i thought would be the ones that would always be there when i went to college.
i always want to be in bed.
my grandma is in the hospital.
it's sad how much i have to control myself so i don't act out to my family.

on the plus side.
my internship gave me an excellent summer...
along with a few people in montgomery that made me realize it wasn't so bad.
and the distance i thought would ruin my relationship won't really be there anymore.
maryland is going to be amazing this year.
i'm becoming more independent and growing into myself.

5/1/10

even if you're gone i'm going to find a way to make this summer amazing.
i deserve it.

3/7/10

i feel extra super ridiculously lonely today...
but not in a bad way.

i was so certain of myself and everything is changing now and maybe i'll leave here, maybe friends will change, maybe i'll relocate a few times,
but i can change things for myself and make things work they way i want them to.
lately i've felt like a shitty person but
last night it wasn't too cold and my mouth was sticky sweet with vodka and juice and
the stars were finally visible

and i could feel something big starting.