i miss summer

i miss new york

i miss home

i miss adventures

i miss feeling restless there

i hate feeling restless here

i hate this feeling

i don't know if this will work

fuck

dover beach- matthew arnold

So my favorite class this year, even above my history of popular music class, is my english class. I take british literature 1800-present and it solidified the idea that i am either double majoring in english and journalism or minoring in english. Last night, I had to read this poem while I sat in my hall while all of my friends were decorating the walls with pictures and putting paper over the lights. I love a lot of the poetry but this poem I thought was especially beautiful...so enjoyz.

The sea is calm to-night.

The tide is full, the moon lies fair

Upon the straits; on the French coast the light

Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand;

Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.

Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!

Only, from the long line of spray

Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,

Listen! you hear the grating roar

Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,

At their return, up the high strand,

Begin, and cease, and then again begin,

With tremulous cadence slow, and bring

The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago

Heard it on the A gaean, and it brought

Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow

Of human misery; we

Find also in the sound a thought,

Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

The Sea of Faith

Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore

Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.

But now I only hear

Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,

Retreating, to the breath

Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear

And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true

To one another! for the world, which seems

To lie before us like a land of dreams,

So various, so beautiful, so new,

Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,

Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;

And we are here as on a darkling plain

Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,

Where ignorant armies clash by night.

all is love

sometimes i get angry that i can be a hateful person

and people and things can set me off

then i kind of get this happy feeling just from life

it doesn't make sense but

even if i'm in a fucking college wasteland

i have little things

like metro rides and wandering around dc

and planning and hipster dancing

and who i used to be

merging with who i am

i'm happy with myself

and i know nowhere else would be better

and i can see things and say things

but i'm the only one in control of it

this won't make sense but it does to me

i like having myself there and

creating what i want around me

your best friend sticking up for you even when you know you're wrong

we might have left home and started college and new lives...but we'll always be a couple of freaks destroying facebook about kyle xy.

today, on the metro ride home, drops of jupiter was the first song that came on shuffle and i started tearing up because I can be away from home and still get the warm feeling of having people so important and meaningful in your life that you feel lucky to be alive.

this is a really fucking lame post but i get to see the first person since i've been at school that knows me inside and out on friday. i may have seen the boyfriend and the parents so far but this is someone who has always been there since the time I was crying everyday about how nervous I was for my bat mitzvah....it's a little different.

i really just want to roll around and scream because i everyday i feel more comfortable here and everyday i get more in touch with the dreamer, writer, thinker i was before i left home.

i'm just really fucking happy.