rave on

sometimes i get distracted and i was looking on blackcigarette and found that love post, the one i couldn't quite understand then but still admired it. looking back on the pictures, quotes, messages of love, it made me realize, that's us, we're one of them. what used to feel unreal has finally begun to sink in and make an impression on me. maybe its because i count the days til we're back in the same place, it kind of makes me a little crazy when i only miss you more everyday. last night you texted me while i was sleeping so i'd have something to wake up to, telling me how much you love me. love never carried so much weight, we say it so much, but i seriously felt it when i looked through sleepy eyes at your 5 a.m. message.

sometimes it gets hard and you feel too far and i think of what it would be like alone.

i mean, i wouldn't die, since i'm mostly alone here, but i couldn't imagine life devoid of sleep dates, adventures, and spending hours talking. you're the only one it's so effortless with, so entirely consuming that i used to want to scream and run around after we saw each other.

i know it's crazy to plan the next three years but i really hope one day its easier for us, where we don't have to put each other through the distance, through the questioning of what each other's lives are truly like, through irrational anger.

i want late mornings waking up near you and exploring cities and feeling close.

i kind of like this love thing.