if you don't know, now you know

so for the very few followers of my blog, you all must know my infatuation with gaga. i think she is probably one of the greatest performers of our time, able to cross the more avant-garde and just general ridiculous into the mainstream. anyway, i had potentially been getting tickets off craigslist since one of my college friends is already going and i would be attending with another, but nothing really happened with that. in an act of sheer luck yesterday, i was able to obtain two tickets (for only $50!!) off craigslist (you win again). AKA...I AM ACTUALLY SEEING LADY GAGA AND HOLY MOTHER

OF PEARL I AM SO EXCITED. and i will be sitting here:

in that little box 13...aka really good seats. so therefore i can no longer complain about college park because this d.c. thing is a+. i'm also starting a book/music club with my palz and having a million career revelations at once! life.

p.s.

i just want to trek it the fuck across america this summer.

inspiration pt 2

that is it for this week, my cramps are killing me and my whole school is infected by...THE SWINE.

DUN DUN DUN.

anyway, college is getting increasingly better, and i'm especially enjoying my history of popular music class. we get to spend the class learning about musicians starting during the 1940s, and how technology has progressed since then as far as recording and instruments go. this past week we learned about Howlin' Wolf, Muddy Waters, and other blues artists of the 40s and 50s. I had never really been one for blues but it was clear where rock and roll got its influence, so i actually thoroughly enjoyed the music. i have it tomorrow so i hopefully i have things to add to this blog about it. also, i recently went to my school's newspaper meeting. while i was originally excited to get a jump start on my journalism career, i found the meeting kind of...bland. i guess i'm not cut out for writing about the new bus line or the first look fair, none of that just seems to interest me. i think i'll still do diversions (the arts section), since i applied for a fashion column, which i most likely won't get but it was fun trying. i gave an overview of other fashion publications besides vogue and elle, focusing on interview, nylon, pop, and dazed and confused (i could do more but it had to be short). while researching them, it made me realize THAT is what i want to do most- express my own creativity on my own terms. so tentatively, a close friend here and I are starting our own magazine, writing about what we want. This may be a ridiculous idea that never comes to fruition but i'm tired of having ideas and never acting on them, i'm growing up now and it's time to DO something. anyway, time to study more grammar...

my life can be kind of fucked up and good and i can be happy and sad and torn up about home and college but i started writing again and i want to cry...i couldn't be happier. this is who i am.

i'm still not sure if this is the perfect place for me, but everyday it gets better.

why do i feel like i'm missing something with college?

the start of something

tomorrow i'm starting over. tomorrow i'm leaving everything i built in my purple and fuschia room, abandoning old clothes and the writing inside the closet. i'm starting a life without my parents, without my friends, without my boyfriend, without true stability. but for some reason i can't weep and cry like i thought i would. my best friend just posted a blog entry featuring an array of pictures of our friends and each other and our town and the world. looking over it, i can't even believe how amazingly lucky i am to know the people i do and have grown up how i did. every boy and girl and friend and acquaintance i've met has shown me something new, helped me discover a different part of me, some more significant then others. every memory i have is something bright and shiny in my mind, and will carry me through the awkward moments i'm bound to have in the next couple months and will help me adjust to a new life. just because i'm changing the course of my life doesn't obliterate the past, it doesn't make me forget.

in the next few weeks, i can start to build up that person i've always wanted to be, the motivated one who create something beautiful through writing and has a constant craving for knowledge. i want to write stories, make movies, create pictures. just because i'm going to some huge state school doesn't make it impossible. i'm so excited for this i want to get to school already no matter how nervous it makes me.

tonight my best friend gave me excellent advice: go have adventures. the other day, i had an inebriated all girls sleepover where we laughed and drank mixed drinks and discussed how the single most amazing thing to happen to you is the fact you're alive. these two pieces of advice and the people that shared them with me make me feel safe and more than ready for life.